Several items caught my eye this past week; all were concerned with marketing or the lack thereof.

Nothing exasperates me more than this: "I need some fast copy for a full-page ad." Well, Sisyphus needs some relief from his agonies, too. Come to think of it, I'd rather roll a large boulder uphill only to have it eternally roll down on top of me than to acquiesce to this request.

Whenever I hear these words, my first impulse is to suggest:

Many marketing executives are more likely to approach a marketing plan with a “ready-fire-aim” solution than a well-reasoned, targeted plan of attack. And frankly, many marketers don’t really know what a marketing plan is or what the difference is between strategies and objectives, etc. Let me give you an example.

Tormented people are said to be "pursued by the Furies." And nothing torments me more than work produced with the attitude of: "It's good enough."

Not long ago (or at least it seems to me) there was a quite memorable TV ad sponsored by IBM (I think). Two young hot-shot IT types are pitching this senior VP on ways to make his website "really cool." After several proposals, the grizzled salesman stares coldly at the young bucks and says, "You know what would be really cool? If all this increases my sales."

I’ve wanted to talk about proofreading for some time, but in the age of texting and tweeting I thought: to what avail? A recent subhead in a prestigious trade journal, however, revived my determination to do so. It read:

“Use this method to allogate (sic) limited maintenance resources to the most critical equipment.”

Now in the age of “ginormous” passing itself off as a legitimate word, I completed due diligence to determine that no such word as “allogate” exists.

So, here is my advice concerning proofreading:

We've all railed against politicians who unashamedly, unapologetically and routinely communicate distortions disguised as verisimilitudes. Obtrusive earmarks are "critical investments" in infrastructure - not pet projects; tax increases (and not spending cuts) are necessary to balance the budget; etc. Unquestionably dreadful behavior.

Among the several benefits of growing up in Brooklyn was the opportunity to see the "Christmas Spectacular" staged annually at the truly magnificent Radio City Music Hall at Rockefeller Center. My Dad and I never missed a show. (My Mom, who hated subways and was none too fond of Manhattan, would join us only occasionally.) It's a tradition I have done my best to maintain, first with my children and now with my grandchildren.

You know what really irks me about interstitial writing such as copy for B2B advertising? It doesn't say anything of import. It gives me no reason to buy or to even consider the product or service.

Look, B2B advertising space is both expensive and restrictive. Why waste it with platitudinous copy, obligatory and often tasteless logo treatments and superfluous photos of people in hard harts with one pointing (literally) to an ambiguous point on the horizon (which ingenuously captures the effectiveness of this worthless effort)? You've paid a lot of money to use this space, damn it. Use if effectively. Use it to sell something other than the company's image... er, I mean brand.

My last missive extolled the virtues of Greek literature, philosophy, history, mathematics and science. Just imagine if Ptolemy's Library at Alexandria had not been destroyed by fire – think of the many wonders like Hero's steam engine about which we could have learned.